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Post by Ainsley Cooper on Nov 30, 2012 6:11:40 GMT -8
A self portrait of sorts, it dons the first page of Ainsley's journal."Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I was delivered the news. It isn't bronchitis, or pneumonia. Cancer's back, both lungs, could try chemo, but not really worth it. It's kind of freeing to know I'm dying... Like honestly, the shit I don't care about.... I don't have to any more. And I have a valid excuse too."
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Post by Ainsley Cooper on Dec 7, 2012 7:25:45 GMT -8
So, this is my room back home, naturally, there's more crap in it than it shows. Ain't I a lazy bastard! I miss it, I miss my bed, I miss my graffiti walls. I miss ma a lot too. More than I ever thought I would. Maybe it's because I know next time I see her, I'll be wheeling around an oxygen tank, literally coughing up my lungs.
I guess I'm still kinda in denial about the whole thing. I started smoking this week... Figured, what the hell, I'm already dying of lung cancer, I might as well smoke.
They told me that lung cancer is secondary, meaning it was the cancer from my removed kidney sneaking up on me. They thought they got it all. They were so wrong. I don't want to die. I'm afraid. What if heaven is real? I dun believe in God, but I think I lead a good life. Please, I don't want to die... But how can I pray to you when your the one that gave me this? Suffer the children.
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Post by Ainsley Cooper on Dec 7, 2012 7:28:18 GMT -8
This is my home, I miss it, I guess that's why I keep drawing it. I miss the little shitty trailer. I never have in the past, coming here for school used to be so fucking cool, but not anymore. Now it feels like it's just something for me to do until I croak. Happier than a dead pig in sunshine, guess it dun matter no how.
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